In previous writing, I have spoken to the impact of lesbian experience on stage, through the making and touring of my acclaimed work “Barely Visible” (2022), which was focussed on common issues that gay women face from an autobiographical position as a gay woman and as a solo artist. However, given that I have now made, toured and reviewed data collected on Woman | Women (2024), a physical performance on the dynamics and fast paced nature of lesbian relationships, I aim to compliment and extend on previous writing by attending to the impact of two gay women on stage, how this process impacted me as the maker and how the work was received by audiences.
In previous work, I have been uncensored about my own experiences and free to share with audiences freely about aspects of my personal life that seem pertinent to the work. However, when it came to lesbian relationships, which, of course, goes beyond my “self”, there were relational ethical implications to consider regarding how how audiences might “read between the lines” and automatically assume that the relationship I present on stage is akin to my real-life relationships with women. I thus frame Woman | Women as semi-autobiographical, not autobiographical, to protect the women in my life because I care deeply for the vulnerability they have shared with me. Of course, there still remains an essence of my life in the work and how the initial ideas were formed, but these were supported and layered by a substantial amount of research into other women’s lesbian experiences via interview, group conversation and reading on the topic. .
To most dominant themes / nuances / differences on lesbian relationships to have arisen were noted, brought into the rehearsal room, and layered into the structure of Woman | Women — finding love, fast pace, scarcity mindset, (in)compatibility, internalised homophobia, attachment, and the relationship a lesbian has with self.
The work I presented was unique and consistent in its content, but the detail was variable depending on the woman I was working with – I acted with a different performer at each of the first three venues. The impact of performing with a different person, and essentially having three different versions of the same work, was very impactful towards me as the maker, because, in some ways, it offered a real time experience of some of the themes of the show, and getting to know someone very quickly and working with their energy to make something work, or not.
Of course, there was a strict level of professionalism and care regarding physical and emotional boundaries, but I was able to get to know each performer a bit more by observing their communication skills, how they carried themselves in rehearsal amidst the lighter and darker themes, and how their energy was with me before, during and after the rehearsal and performance process. I was curious about how their comfortability around themes of sexuality and conflict in a relationship was affecting my own comfort around my ideas. For context, each performer was given the same prompts, the same text, the same entrance and exit, and the same boundaries to play in regarding the content of the scene — there was a moving in and falling in love scene, a physical “fusion,” an argument, a resolution, and a breakup.
I was surprised at how how each performer traversed the scene because whilst one performer found it easier to improvise and play in domesticity and falling in love, another person found it easier to play in conflict. I am still thinking on their energy in relation to mine and how my empathetic persona was challenged during their difficultly and or ease – As the director, I always had the option to change the scene, or I could challenge them to stay in it. I challenged them to stay in it because it felt like a measure of our compatibility, which would then translate in a more authentic way to the audience.
A discomfort for me was my shyness around themes that were closer to my personal experience, particularly with the performers who had not experienced the same thing – this was maybe due to age and level of domestic experience with women. However, this was remedied by reiterating the research and remembering that I did not have to offer the information to the performer as personal, but as a theme that I wanted to cover because I knew it would resonate with the audiences.
Given the vast amount of feedback from audience survey and reviews of the show, it is obvious that the work captured and presented a lesbian experience that was relatable and impactful to the viewer and how they felt validated and seen from seeing the work. Some examples below.
“It made me feel seen, as a lesbian”
“I found myself identifying with the performers’ experiences”
“I really identified with the work; I felt it was very relatable to my lived experience”
“It let me recognise myself in the protagonist”
“Very conscious on the lesbian experience as a whole”
Additionally, though it was observed that though lesbian relationship might offer some stereotypical distinctions, one of the most powerful responses that can speak to effect of the work is that it resonated beyond sexuality and translated to many genders and sexualities as a human experience. That is because the work is about love, love to self and love to other, which is more powerful that a label we must give to our sexuality.
Woman | Women will be touring again in 2025 with a new performer at each venue. Follow @rowenagander and @lesbianperformanceart for more information and lesbian themed content.
As always, huge thank you to Arts Council England for continually funding these important works on lesbianism, and to the creatives and audiences I work with along the way.